35

Day One was great; aside from the fact I had to work. To celebrate, I had two donuts and a cup of coffee for breakfast.

Day Two seems to be slipping, and it’s not even 9 o’clock yet.

Several things I’m trying to avoid are coming up to haunt me. Whatever reassurance I get from “I’ll worry about it tomorrow” fades as each day goes by. I’ve been offered a helping hand. I don’t want to take it, but the alternative will not afford me the luxury.

Even when you do everything right, you get screwed.

And where does all the green come from anyway. I’m having trouble finding it.

the most memorable…

…sibling memories

the day Auntie El taught my dearest chuck and I a new word.

She picked up a Barbie, held it in her hands and said, “Ready? Decapitate!”

(note: we didn’t think it was cool until she put the head back on.)

then we shared it with everyone.

taking the less travelled

it’s the greatest adventure
each day can be whatever you wish
and can end however you want

just take a deep breath
and take the one less travelled

let it grow

Spring is here, and the quince I whacked the hell out of last year is, well…

stunning.

Welcome spring.

blundering by numbers

5. The number of times I looked at my clock and considered getting out of bed.

3. The number of times I had to tell my psycho dog to put a sock in it at 2:30 a.m.

2. The number of times I dropped the shampoo bottle in the shower.

10. The number of minutes I had to wait for my psycho dog to stop running around the house like a complete moron.

0. The number of calories consumed this morning since I woke up too late to fix breakfast.

8. The number of hours I will work today. My least favorite number.

1. The number of days remaining before Friday.

3. The number of dollars in my bank account before payday.

C’mon, Friday.

there goes the neighborhood

The boss has just realized something.

Another law firm has moved in.  Yeah.  They’re located in the building next door.

We can see them from our paralegal’s office window.

They are a direct competitor to the boss and his partners.

The boss now wants a bigger, bolder sign.

*sigh*

Let the games begin.

the daily grind

When I get in the office every morning, I make coffee.

Every morning, without fail, the same attorneys asks, “You didn’t spit in it, did you Chief?”

My answer is always, “I thought about it…but no.”

To save time, I’ve taken to popping my head in his office, letting him know the coffee is safe to drink.

One can never be too careful.

…and she thinks to herself, “Wowzas.”

I wonder.  I truly wonder.  People do the silliest things.  What befuddles me is that I would never have known she did this had she not said anything.

Let me preface this by saying I work in a law firm.  I don’t know if that matters, but it does add a little snark to my tale.

My “office” is a room with no doors.  I am not allowed to have doors.  As the boss so bluntly put it, “I’m the only one allowed to slam doors.”

My office is also home to the copy/scan/fax machine.

It’s not quiet, and there’s generally a lot of traffic.

So, all that being said, an attorney comes in to make copies.  She is sending out a letter with some documents as attachments.

She copies.

I hear, “Oh sh@#$.”

I look over, and, as she’s walking back to her office, she says to me, “I sealed it [the envelope] without anything in it.”

 

yo.

Welcome to a little piece of crazy.

Not all of my posts will be serious.  Not all of my posts will be funny; and, hopefully those that are funny are truly funny and not just psychotic rants.  And let us pray, here and now, that my posts make some kind of sense.  I tend not to read what I have typed after I have typed it.

Shameless plug:  my dearest chuck, Mouse, is over in the basement.  Check her out.  I am sure there will be many squeals of excitement when she discovers my return.

Or not.

Let’s hope for excitement.

I need it.